I am not a professional or anything like that, but I do know my own body. And I agree with what I have read about how over processed food is making us FATTER! Especially the "so-called" diet foods and pills and all that garbage. This blog is about my weight struggles and how I am changing my life one bite at a time.
I am not as skinny as I once was in my early 20 and 30, nor do I want to be. What I want is to be "healthy" and set a better example for my daughter. That doesn't sound so hard now does it? To me at 47 it seems impossible. Why you ask? Well, I used to take care of myself. I did not stress. I did not eat processed foods and I exercised! Now ... I over eat on processed food, sit on the couch and drink too much wine. (Yeah we all read that red wine can be good for us, but in excess ... never!) So what is the problem you’re thinking ... well to be honest I am thinking the same thing. What happened to me? Why have I become so lazy? What's going on here?
I spent my youth outside ... running, playing, sports, pretty much anything that didn't involve a TV or computer. When I had children I didn't slow down that much. I still tried to keep exercise in my schedule someway, I wasn't a TV junkie and I cooked real meals. But the stress from work was starting to show. It was the work stress that made me change my life style and so I became a stay at home mom ... fun because there was no stress. I spent five years training in Tae kwon Do ... earning a black belt at the age of 40. Walked at least 5 miles a day in less than an hour and cooked real meals. Life was good.
Shortly after earning my black belt, something started happening that I couldn't explain nor comprehend. It became more difficult to train in TKD so I started skipping class more and more. I couldn’t walk as long without feeling a horrible pain in my hips, and my feet fell asleep as I walked. I started to slept all the time, but never felt refreshed. Nothing had changed in my life. Everything was going great. So I couldn't understand what was going on with me. After seeking medical attention several doctors over I was still without answers ... my family doctor told me it was in my head, a heart specialist said other than having a mild mitrovalve prolapse, my heart was like a 20 year old (I was 43). I went to an Endocrinologist who couldn't find anything wrong. Desperate for answers I finally succumbed to the fact that I could not do the things I loved so much. Becoming depressed I eventually stopped TDK, walking and anything else that made me happy including being creative with art and writing.
One day I was telling a friend about how I was feeling and how many doctors I had seen but they all pretty much told me it was in my head. My friend suggested that I see her doctor because she was feeling the same way for a long time until she saw her. Finally! I thought I might have some answers. After a three hour consultation I was told I had Fibromyalgia. Fibro what? What the heck is that? Reluctantly and skeptically, I followed her instructions to the "T". She was not your typical doctor, she was a Holistic practitioner. So she put me on more vitamins than I had seen since I was 18, and a strict but doable diet. And I was to walk at least 30 minutes a day, not the fast pace that I was used to, but a normal brisk walk basically to get the heart rate up.
Diet ... I hate that word! I had only dieted once in my life, after I had my son. But, I was overweight by at least 30 lbs. So I followed the plan. The plan you ask? Was ... drum roll please ... NONE other than the USDA dietary guideline through the pyramid. Remember learning about that in elementary school kids???? And guess what? I lost 40 pounds over about a 6 month period (and my doctor said that was too much for me). And get this, I felt so much better!! I did it without drugs for pain, drugs for diets or using any kind of diet food. What I did do, was go back to the basics of cooking. I was instructed by my doctor to cut out dairy and a few things (anything pickled or fermented, mushrooms, sugar and ALL processed carbs) which can cause over growth of yeast in the gut (digestion problems such as bloating, gas and irritable bowel syndrome). I switched to soy milk and found that I loved it (well I love “Silk” Soy with vanilla). For the first year I only ate Ezekiel bread ... made from sprouted grain and no preservatives (find it in your health food area in the freezer section), it’s really not that bad either. This diet was easy to follow because it was fresh cooking and since I love to cook it was fun. My entire family benefited from this so call diet (I never called it a diet; it was just a way of eating). I still enjoyed a glass of red wine, and did have the no no’s every now and then as suggested by my doctor; she said “I don’t want this to be so hard for you that you can’t follow it”. Funny thing was, I felt better sticking to the “real” food as I called it.
Well it’s almost 5 years later and I am pretty much back in the same place I was back before I saw the doctor. I am now 47; again 30 lbs over weight and my body feels like a truck hit it and then backed up over it again. WHY? What is going on here?
I think what started this downfall was that my beloved father passed away from cancer in November of 2004, and then our family moved from MI to KY in July of 2005. I had to find a full time job, thus worrying about my daughter who was in 4th grade at the time. My son 17 was having a horrible time adjusting to the move, again more worry. Then if all that wasn’t enough, I found out my husband of nearly 18 years was having an affair and decided once I knew about it to continue it in front of us without any consideration to the family and their feelings. So divorced in August of 2006, I was now a single mom trying to make a living on my own. It was a scary, confusing and frustrating time for me. And on top of it I had packed on at least 20 pounds since my fathers death. To make matters worse, I was going to be laid off of my job after 2 years of employment, losing my house and facing bankruptcy. Strangely instead of gaining more weight I managed to lose anything I had gained from the previous years, but only because I WAS NOT EATING. I fed my children but ate very little myself. I was drinking way too much and skipping many meals. I was a very poor example to my children, especially to my daughter.
Thankfully it was October of 2007 that things finally turned around for all of us. I began working for a beautiful horse farm located in Lexington KY. Along with the love of my two children, my new job became my salvation. I knew nothing of the horse industry but was taken in by a wonderful staff of people who over the course of nearly 3 years have taught me so much. I love my work, my children are happy and life is better than it has truly ever been.
So what is the problem you ask? Well my weight is the problem, my lack of energy and the pain I feel throughout my body. I am way too young to feel this way. The major problem is … drum roll … you guessed it; my EATING habits are so poor it makes me sick. The fact that I can’t seem to get out of this funk that I am in has made me so depressed. I was not struggling with anything so why did I pack on the pounds these last 3 years? I went from 140 lbs to 170 lbs which I contribute to really unhealthy eating.
Ugh! I have not had a picture taken of me in 3 years, and this summer I took my daughter and her friend to Disney for a week. And decided I needed pictures of us together. I was so horrified by my appearance. My beautiful daughter sees me differently and says I am not FAT. But I am. And I must change my ways now. I have become a really good cook, but a lazy person. I rarely cook and eat out more than I should. My pantry is full of the unhealthy processed foods I despise, and yet I continue to buy them. I also drink way too much wine. So this is where it stops.
Today is July 11, 2010 and I am going to change and hope this blog helps me. Maybe a reader or two will give me the encouragement I need. I want to be healthy and happy. I need to be a better example for my daughter. She is 13, tall and very thin. But I hear her say she is fat sometimes and I cringe because I know it’s because she sees me struggle and shout out in frustration how bad I look and I know she doesn’t want to go there. I am scared she will have an eating disorder if I don’t make a good change for us both.
I will go back to the print out my doctor gave me so many years ago. If anyone would like to follow this with me, you can go to www.mypyramid.gov and print out your own to follow. Trust me the work you put in this will pay off in the way you look but mostly in the way you feel. And you will do it all naturally and in a healthy way. There is no diet pills, no frozen or dehydrated foods to buy. It’s what God intended for us to eat, natural foods from the earth. The biggest thing is to cut out as many processed foods as you can and to get up and MOVE. You don’t need a gym membership to do this either … but if you have one, I consider it a bonus in the case of bad weather (rain, too cold, too hot). I have an exercise ball, some 8 lb weights, some resistant bands and the whole out doors to walk in. That is what helped me the very first time.
I will work on a plan of action and some simple recipes and will share with any reader hoping you might find it useful. There are many cook books you can get that have good simple recipes for healthy meals. If you are like me and love rich foods, such as homemade Mac & Cheese … it’s okay. I will eat a smaller portion along with good vegetables rather than having the Mac & Cheese as the entire meal. Portion control is a very big part of eating healthy … and I encourage rich food nights, but limiting them to once a week … maybe your Saturday or Sunday mid-day meal, with a good walk later. Well at least that is what I will be doing.
So let’s get started!! Cooking real food and moving.
Until next time … with a smile, Barngirl
P.S. Exclaimer - I AM NOT a professional … this is only my story and what I have done and do to manage my health. If you read this and follow anything I write, PLEASE consult a physician first to see if you are healthy enough to follow any kind of exercise program.
